Time to Renew

Time to Renew

I won’t be able to hustle myself out of this one.

I have to go through this season and finish it.

This won’t be like the video game you quit early because you know you’re losing.

Today is July 16, 2025.
We’re starting something new.

To begin this new journey, we first have to heal from what ended.

To heal, we have to grieve what we’ve lost.

I want my grief to be real.
Not just about physical loss or money.

Yes, those things were major.

Seven years ago, I had about $160k in net worth.
In 2018, I was making a great income.

These numbers aren’t for show.
They’re reminders for me.

Yesterday, my sons turned 22.
Which means I’ve been a mother for 22 years.

And now, I’m in a restart season.

Most people don’t want the story to center on
what we’ve done for our kids or how much we gave.

But this story is mine.

And right now, it’s about renewal.

Part of grieving for me is facing income instability.

I’ve been running a service-based business
with a mission to serve people.

But I lost myself in the serving.
I lost myself in trying to do good for others.
I lost myself in building others up,
while putting myself and my family at risk.

I wanted God to use me through my business.
But I made it an idol.

I’ve repented for that.

That path led me to burnout.
It led me to loss.

Now I’m picking up the pieces.

I’m grieving friendships.
I’m grieving where I used to live.
I’m grieving the joy and comfort I once had.
I’m grieving my health.

Because I believed those were supposed to be the best years of my life.

I’m laying it all at the feet of Jesus.

He heals the brokenhearted.
And even now, I know He is with me.

I’m creating this space for people who are ready to walk through the real journey.

There is no perfect way to heal.
There is no right way to grieve.

Right now, I’m writing this at my best friend’s counter.
It’s a place that brings peace and safety.

It’s only been a few days,
but I’m starting to reflect from outside of the chaos.

Here, I don’t have to explain what I’m doing next.
I just get to be.

And that is a gift.

It’s powerful when someone will sit with you in your grief.

Not to fix it.
Not to judge it.
Not to offer a 5-step plan.

Just sit.

I don’t know if my time in Texas is over.
I don’t know when or if I’ll return.

For now, I’ve taken a contract role to stop the financial bleeding.

I took a break from Texas.
I took a break from the hustle.

Running a service-based business that demands constant pitching, connecting, and sellingjust doesn’t feel right anymore.

So I’m sitting.

I’m sitting down to write this.
I’m sitting down to eat.
I’m sitting with my grief.
I’m sitting with my kids and what they’re feeling.
I’m sitting with my best friend.
And I’m sitting with my Lord and Savior.

These are the questions I’ve been reflecting on
after hearing a recent sermon:

• Where is home?

• What is the vision?

• What do I need?

How can you help?

If you pray, then pray.

If you want to sit with me, rebuild with me,
or bring your best friend along on the journey,

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Let’s renew together.